Cheers To You! | Merrily Wed Wedding Design & Planning

May 23, 2012

Several posts ago I introduced you to Michelle Van Otten, a respected San Francisco Bay Area author, international public speaker and consultant with expertise in personal peak performance, business image, first impressions and body language. Here is our second in a series of guest posts in which she will give you valuable hints, tips and clues – helping you to become the most magnetic, radiant, confident version of you possible.

This time around it is all about how to speak confidently and deliver a wedding toast others won’t tune out after the first sentence.  Whether you are a maid of honor, best man, mother or father of the bride or groom, or just speaking at a non-wedding event, remember these six tips (or pass them on to someone who needs them)!

6 Powerful Tips for Speaking with Magnetic Confidence and Delivering an Unforgettable Speech or Toast

Jerry Seinfeld said it best…”People at a funeral would rather be in the coffin than delivering the eulogy!” Public speaking may be top on the list of all human fears, but what I am about to share with you will help you eliminate any fear and step into your innate ability to deliver a powerful, unforgettable speech. You can do this and with a little practice you can become a master. Here’s what you need to know…

1. Let’s begin with the basic fact that 93% of our communication with others is non-verbal. That’s right! Only 7% of communication is what you actually say. Non-verbal communication is the single most potent form of communication there is and it’s the very first thing you need to know about how you show up to others. Your 93% comes through your mood, emotions, body language, tone of voice, facial expressions and appearance before a single word is spoken. Knowing that you are already going to be filled with positive emotions and looking and feeling your best, you can relax about the what to say part because you know that the majority of what you are conveying is already being said.
2. The most important thing you must remember about speaking with a group is that connection matters more than anything! When you grab the mic, take a deep breath as you make eye contact with each and every person you can. Taking them in and connecting with them through your eyes first. Let them feel your heart and your emotions and you will move them to tears.
3. Convey confidence and presence with your posture and body language. Stand tall and ground yourself through your feet first. Then lift up through your collar bone as if there were strings attached to your collarbone and those strings were lifting you straight up to the sky. Not only will you appear elongated and graceful, you’ll look elegant and self-assured.

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4. Remember to breathe! Pausing to breath helps your oxygenate your brain and body and also serves you in being more powerful with your delivery.
5. Use cue cards and make bullet points rather than painstakingly writing out a long speech you have to read. Remember that as long as what you say comes from your heart and is a true reflection of your authenticity and uniqueness, people will always be moved and inspired by you. You can’t get that wrong!
6. Relax and know that the difference between being a mediocre speaker and a great speaker is simply knowing that it’s all about the energy you give and the experience you create for others rather than focusing on getting the words right or saying it perfectly. Just be your glorious, beautiful self and speak from your heart. You’ll receive a standing ovation every time.

Follow these steps and Michelle Van Otten will help you give the most magnetic, radiant, confident speech possible!  Success in any endeavor is always an inside job first and an outside job second.  You’ve got to have the inner game in order to reflect a stellar outer game.  She is the master at showing you how easy it is to achieve your ultimate self!

 

 

Tahoe Signature of Style,

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Beauty Is An Inside Job First | Merrily Wed Lake Tahoe Weddings

Apr 10, 2012

Michelle Van Otten

Meet Michelle Van Otten, a respected San Francisco Bay Area author, international public speaker and consultant with expertise in personal peak performance, business image, first impressions and body language.  This is the first of a series of guest posts in which she will give you valuable hints, tips and clues – helping you to become the most magnetic, radiant, confident version of you possible!

Beauty Is an Inside Job First

As you imagine your wedding day, one of the most unforgettable and memorable days of your life, how do you see yourself and your day unfold? Are you radiant and exuding authentic beauty that seems to come from within your soul? Are you beaming with confidence and feeling your best? Are you proud of your physical appearance and deriving such joy from how you look and feel? Are you calm and accepting of what is and embracing all the little flaws of life for what they are and laughing them off?

All of these are some of the most important questions to ask yourself so that you can truly set the intention to create yourself as the best you can be on that day (and every day) as well as the intention you want to create for your loved ones and your husband to be.

To help you shine and be seen for your brilliance, I thought I would offer you 8 stellar tips and simple suggestions for how to create magnetic confidence so you can really love living in your skin on your glorious day! You are truly amazing and I want you to be remembered for your vibrancy and seen through the lens of the intentions you set.

1. Set your vision and the ultimate intention for your special day starting NOW! Practice beginning every morning by imbedding that vision of exactly what you want your day to be like, how you see it unfolding, who you want to be. Build your vision with the greatest detail, taking yourself through all of your emotional responses to what you see, feel, hear, taste, smell. Build it so that you deeply imbed this in your mind and as such play this out as your destiny.
2. Your most optimal time of the day to capitalize on your fitness and nutrition efforts is first thing in the morning. Launch your day with a fabulous workout and cardio session that leaves you feeling energized and great about yourself and your body. Nourish yourself and your body first every day. When you master your physiology you master your energy and your level of self-confidence.
3. Manage your stress by creating your support system. Build your team that has your back and takes care of you! Make a list of all the things that suck your energy and time and assign someone to help you with that particular task or item. Remember that you CAN ask for help and by avoiding taking on the world you will shine even more radiantly and beautifully being stress free.
4. Acknowledge yourself for all that you accomplish in each day. Acknowledge your partner too for all that he does and is going through.
5. Develop your attitude of gratitude so you avoid the vortex trap of negativity. At times of stress with tight deadlines, we can get laser focused on all that isn’t going well. So practice noticing and shifting your thoughts to what is working and what is amazing in your life.
6. Give up the need or feeling of being perfect. Perfection leads us into so much internal pressure and suffering. Instead embrace the desire to be your best in every moment vs. aiming for perfection. Embrace all that is already whole and fabulous about you.
7. Create a morning power mantra! I love this exercise and it’s one of the strongest ways to build your daily confidence muscle. Start by making a list of all the things you love about yourself, values, strengths and gratitudes. Write it down. Recite this list to yourself every morning in the mirror as you get ready for your day. When you leave the house you will be feeling unstoppable.
8. Remember that connection matters more than anything else. Your ability to develop deeper connections comes from being truly you, authentic in every way. It’s all about the energy you give off from your thoughts and emotions that creates the most profound experience for others that they will always remember you for.

Follow these steps and Michelle Van Otten will help you become the most magnetic, radiant, confident version of you possible!  Success in any endeavor is always an inside job first and an outside job second.  You’ve got to have the inner game in order to reflect a stellar outer game.  She can show you how easy it is to achieve your ultimate self!

Tahoe Signature of Style,

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In the Pages of the Knot Northern California | Merrily Wed Lake Tahoe Weddings

Feb 9, 2012

The Knot Northern California hand picked this Lake Tahoe lakeside wedding as one of the 11 perfect real weddings in their 2012 Spring/Summer issue.  The setting, one of Hollywood’s most famous lakefront locations, spoke for itself.  I remember during set-up one of the band members whispered to me, “This reminds me of the Godfather and sure looks like the place from it.”  I whispered back, “It is…”.  He pretty much ran out of the tent right then and there to start taking photos!

This wedding had it all – from the gorgeous woodie boat that delivered Andrew and his entourage to the ceremony to the infinite number of rustic, yet nautical, charming details to Courtney’s adorable kelly green cardigan she ‘donned’ as the fall air grew cool…  So many details, impressive on their own, were but the supporting cast to the main show itself:  the unforgettable wedding and following celebration for Courtney and Andrew.

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Looking for more?  Check out our earlier blog post – Classic Lake Tahoe Wedding – full of fabulous photo boards from Courtney & Andrew’s wedding day.

Tahoe Signature of Style,

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Bridal Showers – What’s In & What’s Out | Merrily Wed Lake Tahoe Weddings

Jan 26, 2012

Bridal showers go hand in hand with weddings so whether you are hosting one for your closest friend or you are the toast of the day, you want your bridal shower to be a fun, fresh and memorable time!  Yours Truly from Lake Tahoe gave Fabulous Living.com a couple ideas on how to breathe a little life into bridal showers.  For the full post, here it is – Bridal Showers: Games Are Out, Activities Are In! .  So out with the games and bring on the activities that will get guests talking and bonding!

Highlights:

 

1)  A Wine Tasting – have each guest bring a bottle (label covered) or supply a few as the hostess.  Have a blind ‘tasting’ and vote on the best one.  Even separate with a white wine and a red wine.  If you are true connoisseurs, you can get as detailed as voting on different varietals.  Great idea is to have the winning bottle or bottles make an encore appearance at the wedding reception!

 

2)  Glam Photo Shoot – bring in a professional photographer and capture the day with a photo session.  Theme or activity will add to the the fun.  Check out our blog post just on this topic alone – Your BFF’s Glam Photo Shoot.

 

 

3)  Floral Design – a brilliant idea from Kristi Pohly, owner of Fleur Decor in Denver, Colorado.  Treat your guests to a crash floral design course.  Hire a designer to supply the flowers and teach the how-to’s.  The vase is a great party favor, not to mention the arrangement you bring home (bonus is that you created it yourself!).

 

 

4)  Cupcake Decorating – from Claudia Copquin, founder/editor of Long Island’s bridal blog – GettingMarriedonLongIsland.com.   A fun (and yummy) way to spend an afternoon is decorating cupcakes.  Provide stations for the toppings – the more the better.  From custom aprons for the guests to awarding the prettiest, silliest or most original cupcake decor, this will be a great activity for a shower.

 

Happy Party Planning,

 

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Mason Jar Manifesto | Merrily Wed Lake Tahoe Weddings

Nov 7, 2011 | 2 comments

Back to the basics.

In this challenging economic time when friends can lose their jobs with no warning, homes taken for granted are anything but, and filling your car with gas can result in reshuffling your whole paycheck…  the wedding world seems a little behind.  Jonas Peterson, an Australian photographer, eloquently summarizes why two people choose to make a public commitment and reminds us about the real reason for the day.  Hint – it is not for the details (even though we love them)…

I think his post, also copied right below, is a worthwhile read for everyone.

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The Mason Jar Manifesto

It’s 4.47am when I sit down to write this. I woke up 30 minutes ago and couldn’t go back to sleep. I’ve been thinking about this for so long, but a couple of things lately have reinforced what I already knew.

The wedding train has derailed.

Put down those mason jars, store away that vintage typewriter and fairy lights and sit down because you need to listen. This is an intervention. The whole wedding industry has gone detail bananas and we need to clear a few things up.

– You! Over there! Step away from the hay bales and the Vintage Navajo rugs and come over here. Sit! Down! No, you don’t have to put lavender on the plates, you need to wake up!

We’re getting lost in details. The whole wedding industry is drifting away from what weddings are about and we’re all part of the problem – bloggers, photographers, planners and vendors – all hypocrites feeding the detail beast.

Strip it back.

Peel the layers off.

And start again.

At the center of every wedding we have a girl. Who fell in love with a boy. Or a girl who fell in love with a girl. Or a boy who fell in l… you get my point.

The rest is fluff.

If you read magazines and wedding blogs today, you’d think it’s all about the dress, the decorations, invitations or a million other things.

THINGS.

It’s not.

It’s about celebrating love, a manifestation of commitment, a gathering of friends and family.

Because you’re in love.

But if you visit many of the blogs today, you’d think it’s about other things. Heck, there are even themed shoots with no people. As if candles and old LP players on a blanket in a clearing in a forest make a wedding. Just add people. And maybe a groom. Or actually don’t, the wedding is about the details, remember? Details, details, details.

Strip it back.

Peel the layers off.

And start again.

Weddings are about people, it’s about commitment and celebrating love. It’s about you. Build on that and everything else will follow.

I am a detail person, so it’s not that I don’t like details. I love details. Details, details, details. Love them. I honestly do. I’ve worked with some of the best planners in the business and they’ve styled weddings to perfection, made details stand out and it’s always been great, because they’ve built on the couples, starting with who they are. And I actually like shooting details. A lot.

When I was younger I used to record mix tapes and give to girls I liked.

Every detail was thought out, every letter, every scribble, every word on that tape had meaning. I love me some details. I grew up in a house with vintage bottles and mason jars everywhere. That and rocks collected from oceans and fields. So I get the jar and bottle thing, I truly do. Throw in some rocks and I’m there. But remember what the wedding is about, why you’re doing this, that’s all you really need. Don’t stress out about building a fairytale wedding, perfectly crafted, every detail borrowed from somewhere else.

Look away from the blogs and magazines.

And look within.

Why are you doing this? What does it mean to you? Do you really need all that…stuff? And if you want stuff, are you adding stuff that actually means something to you? What do you want to remember from your day? The cake, the flowers, the dress from Hoya de la Poopy?

Or do you want to focus on that moment between you two? The boy? Who fell in love with a girl?

Strip it back.

Peel the layers off.

And start again.

Last night Rachel sent me this email after I posted their wedding. I’ll leave you with that.

Jonas,

I want you to picture Jeff and I squeezed in to our round chair, we don’t really fit and our dogs have been asleep at our feet for hours. It is very chilly here and the leaves are falling but we are reluctant to put on our heat yet. I say to Jeff, “let’s check your unemployed wife’s email, maybe we are about to get wealthy.” When I saw “it’s up” I stopped breathing. You reminded me that all that matters  is squeezed in that chair next to me.

This is the moment I have been craving and dreading all at the same time. It feels like a final celebration in a way to me. Like our last chance for you, nirav and us to take what we created together, between all of our hearts, and say to the world this is love, this is what’s important, this is the power of photography.

I am sitting here with this feeling inside that I felt before. I felt it when we sent that email off into thin air hoping to create something with you. I felt this when Jeff and I woke up in the middle of the night on our honeymoon in our little cabin (Jeff would be the first to tell you if you didn’t already have your ticket back to Australia I would have brought you on our honeymoon too) but picture us there and we are on an island in the middle of the ocean in the rain in a little cabin and i press my iphone on and it reloads your website and “One” is there. Jeff and I held each other and cried and cried and cried. You have healed parts of me. If that is not the measure of your success, I don’t know what is.

I love you.

Least we forget and here is a gentle reminder that LOVE is the meaning and reason behind it all.

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