May 8, 2014
We at Merrily Wed® shared the “How-To’s” on some small details (but oh-so important!) which added to the ambiance of the naturally beautiful destination Lake Tahoe wedding of Katie and Chris. These are dished on in California Wedding Day’s 2014 Spring and Summer issue! This wedding has been a favorite among many and if you happened to miss our first post on this gorgeous Tahoe mountain wedding, Rustic Elegance Redefined, now you can!
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Tahoe Signature of Style,
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Aug 22, 2013
In the initial stages of planning, one of the hardest decisions may be agreeing on the number of guests to invite to your wedding. Whether your favorite venue or budget (or just personal preference!) is determining the number of guests which can attend, having the discussion with your parents, future in-laws and fiance from the start will save you big headaches later on.
Of course the number you invite will be higher than the number actually attending. We recommend using about a 15% decline rate but this can vary on each individual situation – where the majority of guests are traveling from, time of year for your wedding and your guests’ own personal budgets. We advise our clients individually on a percentage to use.
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Three Easy Steps to Master Your Guest List:
1) A key point to address and not to tip-toe around is how you will divide up this total number of invited guests. We have seen lots of scenarios – half for the bride side, half for the groom side – is the most common. Or depending on who is paying. Sometimes couples marry later on in their careers and find themselves contributing substantially to their wedding day so a three-way split is acceptable between both sides of parents and then the couple themselves. Or perhaps four ways, both parents and then a list for each of you.
2) However you split the master guest list, sit down and compare your personal lists as you may likely have a few overlaps and common invitees. This will open up a couple of spots! When making your list, start at the top with your family and friends that you cannot imagine not having there on your wedding day. As you add to your list, widen the circle of must attends. This will help if you have to cut (yes, it does happen) guests from your invite list if you are exceeding the total number of guests to invite. You will have done your work and eliminate from the bottom up.
3) Equally important is sticking to this guest list! The master guest list is easily the biggest source of contention for everyone throughout the wedding planning. Depending on the length of your engagement, you may hit it off with a new work colleague, your third cousin has returned from their world trip or you ran into your long lost childhood friend. Each wedding is different and if in your situation it works, then the more the merrier, but if it doesn’t, then you need to stick to your guns. If everyone added 4-6 guests, then you could suddenly be looking at an additional 20 guests and so the problems begin.
Spend a little time at the beginning to agree on a course of action and this will save you a lot of stress, contention and potential arguments later on. After all your engagement is your first big test of ‘compromise’ with each other and your new family. Make it a successful one!
Tahoe Signature of Style,
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Nov 7, 2012
Skimming through the thousands and thousands of photos we have of our events through the years, it struck me the range of colors that presented itself. Why not put together a handy dandy little guide to the secret meaning behind each color? Done, and so much fun selecting the right photo to represent each color from our past Merrily Wed weddings…
I never know what colors my next client may fancy and the opportunity to do something new is one of my favorite aspects of my job. Even with the same basic color palette, little twists and adjustments to the lead colors make every wedding different. For example, one year I had two clients with the same color palette and the same wedding day (believe it or not!).
The primary colors were navy and green yet one bride leaned towards kelly green and the other towards a spring chartreuse green. This is where the similarities stopped and the individual personalities of the wedding couples took over.
In fact, both of these weddings were so detailed, original and beautiful, they both landed spots in national and regional publications – Destination I Do Magazine and The knot Northern California Magazine.
This colorful visual guide below will show you what your favorite color means, what it may say about your personality and how the colors you select for your wedding color palette can influence the overall feel of your wedding day.
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Red:
Red is the most intense color of the color wheel. Red stimulates energy as well as increases enthusiasm. Red symbolizes love, passion, courage and rage. Red also emits a sense of protection from anxiety and fears. If red is your favorite color you are passionate, maintain a busy lifestyle, desire strength and may be a risk taker.
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Pink:
Pink is fun and exciting, some shades of pink can have almost the same energy as red. Red is passionate without being an overly aggressive hue. Pink is the color of happiness. Pink stimulates energy, encourages action and confidence. If pink is your favorite color you tend to be calm, sensitive and sympathetic. You are also compassionate towards others and dislike controversy.
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Orange:
Orange, a close relative of red, radiates warmth and energy. Orange stimulates appetite, socialization, as well as activity. If your favorite color is orange you are friendly, confident and full of energy. You balance your life with business and pleasure and enjoy both!
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Yellow:
Yellow shines with optimism, enlightenment and happiness. Yellow is mentally stimulating and encourages communication. Yellow will increase optimism, energy, as well as spark creative thoughts. If yellow is your favorite color you are creative, intelligent and happiness comes naturally to you.
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Green:
Green occupies more space in the color wheel than any other color and is the second most popular favorite color. Green is a large contributor to the colors of nature. The color green is seen as tranquil and refreshing, with a balance of cool and warm hues. Most shades of green are known to be physically and mentally relaxing. If green is your favorite color you enjoy the nature that surrounds you and love spending time in the outdoors. You also enjoy calming your loved ones, as well as helping the less fortunate.
Teal:
Teal has the calming effect of both green and blue. Teal represents sophistication, generosity and creativity. Teal encourages communication as well as creativity. If your favorite color is teal you tend to be sensitive, intellectual, imaginative and charming. You also tend to be self-reliant and independent.
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Blue:
The color blue is the most common favorite color in the world. Blue is seen as trustworthy, dependable and committed. It invokes rest and can cause the body to produce chemicals that are calming. Not all blues are serene, bright blues can become dramatic and cause exhilaration. Blue is the least gender specific color, it appeals equally to both genders. If your favorite color is blue, friends find you to be very trustworthy and patient. You are also conservative and love to have stability in your life.
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Navy:
Navy symbolizes wisdom, self-mastery and spiritual realization. Navy, being a shade of blue, increases communication within yourself. Navy develops intuition, increases solitude and lets you focus on personal issues. If navy is your favorite color you are spiritual, intuitive and intelligent. You are also self-reliant and tend to take on responsibility.
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Purple:
Purple balances red’s stimulation and blue’s calming effect. With a sense of royalty, purple is a color often well liked by very creative personalities. Purple is uplifting, calms nerves, as well as encourages creativity. If purple is your favorite color, you desire respect, power and often tend to be sentimental.
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White:
White projects purity, neutrality and cleanliness. The color white encourages clarity and enables fresh beginnings. White also encourages clearing clutter and purifying thoughts and actions. If white is your favorite color, you prefer a peaceful surrounding and like to be surrounded by truth and innocence.
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Grey:
Grey is the color of knowledge, wisdom and intellect. Grey is also known as the color of compromise because it is a mixture of powerful black and pure white. Grey can sometimes be unsettling because of this compromise, but can also create expectations. If grey is your favorite color you constantly look for peace and composure. You have good business abilities and tend to work hard, sometimes without reward.
Black:
Black is authoritative, powerful, formal and evokes strong emotions. The color black can create a sense of potential and possibility. If black is your favorite color you are classy and others perceive you as a powerful individual. You are very in tune with your emotions and can be spontaneous.
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Brown:
Brown symbolizes stability, reliability and approachability. Brown is the color of earth and is affiliated with being natural and organic. Brown creates a feeling of wholesomeness, stability and orderliness. If your favorite color is brown you are dependable, patient and reliable. You also tend to not like impulse, because you are organized and everything is well planned.
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Champagne:
Champagne represents the basics, the essentials. Champagne incorporates the warmth of brown with the crispness of white. Champagne creates a feeling that is calm, relaxing and creates a feeling of simplicity. If your favorite color is champagne, you are conservative, dependable and friendly. You also tend to be a perfectionist and like everything to be precise.
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Colors reveal a lot more than just adding some eye candy to an area or object. Keep in mind that a single description may not fit you perfectly and it may be a combination of colors that describe you best.
You may consider these meanings when selecting the color palette for your wedding to instill the feeling that you desire. More importantly though, just have fun with it! Can’t go wrong with your favorites and your wedding will be a true reflection of yourself!
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Tahoe Signature of Style,
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Jul 25, 2012
This spring I introduced you to Michelle Van Otten, a respected San Francisco Bay Area author, international public speaker and consultant with expertise in personal peak performance, business image, first impressions and body language. This is our final in the series of guest posts in which she gave you valuable hints, tips and clues – helping you to become the most magnetic, radiant, confident version of you possible.
If you happened to miss the last two posts – check them out now on how to radiate your inner beauty and how to speak confidently and give a scintillating toast.
Today Michelle is giving us valuable advice that you can use every day from meeting a new friend, nailing a job interview, a successful first date as well as meeting future in-laws… How to make a winning first impression.
10 Winning Tips on How to Make a Great and Everlasting First Impression on Your Future Family Members and Friends
Meeting your boyfriend’s family for the first time can certainly be nerve wrecking. But rest assured, no matter what the occasion or event, let me share that the number one pearl of wisdom to keep in mind is to be your true self. The most impacting and memorable first impressions are those that reflect the real you and your true personality. You can breathe a sigh of relief and remember that there is no need to look, be or act perfect! Just remember that most people are really more focused on themselves and their own negative mind chatter that you might imagine. So the pressure is off and the opportunity is on.
I’m going to give you 10 of my best impression making tips to help build your rapport building skills and make your best and most memorable first impression.
Tip #1: Tune in and be aware of what your body language is saying about you to others. Your body language is affected by your emotions, belief systems, habits and mannerisms and how well you take care of your physical body. The basics of body language you can master now to help you build better rapport and connection are things like eliminating negative facial expressions, stiff or poor posture, leaning away from people, and crossing your arms and legs. Little habits like these can turn others off and present you as negative and unapproachable. Even when this is not your intention at all!
Instead, give great face and know your emotions are incredibly influential and powerful. Negative facial expressions are detected faster and are more impacting than positive ones. Smiling with your eyes and your heart conveys that you are open, confident, interested in others and easily approachable and likable. Lean in towards others when they are speaking with you. Keep yourself open and engaging. Uncross your arms and legs when appropriate. Maintain eye contact and be sincerely authentic with your communication. Even just keeping a smile on your face and maintaining eye contact as much as possible will set you up for success.
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Tip #2: Convey true confidence that emanates from the inside out. Confidence is something a lot of people feel they don’t posses. So I’m going to give you the top ways to build true magnetic confidence from that has you glowing from the inside out. Let’s begin.
*The single best way to build your confidence muscle and get a mental boost is by working on your physical body and making fitness a daily routine. Remember that whether you like it or not, your level of self care sends the most distinct cues about how you treat yourself and this can set the tone for how others will also value you and treat you.
*Improve your self-worth by investing in your style and build a killer first impression wardrobe you look and feel great in
*Work on your posture and fix any slumping or bad habits
*Develop your strength with an attitude of gratitude and focus on noticing everything positive while working on eliminating the tendency to focus on negative things or what isn’t working in your life
*Face your fears and do it anyway. Remember that Fear is simply False Evidence Appearing Real!
Tip #3: Remember that people love to hear their name and hearing it makes them feel welcome, included and significant. There is a deep subconscious effect that happens when we hear our own name used in conversation. It creates familiarity and a feeling of ease. It gets our attention and increases our desire to listen in more closely to what follows. Using someone’s name in conversation is a fantastic way to instantly increase rapport and connection with others. This little communication secret will serve you immensely in building solid connections with others.
Tip #4: Become the master of your emotional states. Whether we realize it or not, emotions dominate the bulk of our non-verbal communication with anyone. Emotions create distinct cues that are conveyed in our facial expressions and body language that send very subtle yet clear messages. Emotions create energy; positive or negative. Your ability to master your emotions and discover how powerful your emotions are at influencing others happens through the energy you create or take away via your own emotional states. If you want to be more influential in your speaking or connecting with others, learn how to put yourself into positive emotional states instantly. This sets the mood you want others to see and feel.
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Tip #5: Be proactive in starting conversations fearlessly. It’s all about having fun! Remember that a lot of people are nervous or feeling self conscious. So take the lead! Set the tone! Be in the moment, be curious and engaging. You win by focusing on others needs and making them feel comfortable first. One way to do this is to become an expert listener, engaged and focused on what others are saying, so you truly hear them and they know you are listening.
Tip #6: Your style, appearance and level of apparent self-care are dominant factors in making a million dollar first impression! These things speak volumes to others about your level of self-standards, the way you care about and value yourself. Others will treat you with the same exact level of care and respect you treat yourself with! Take the time to care for your body, health, grooming, appearance and style. Remember to match your style of dress appropriately to the environment to send the right message and intention.
Tip #7: Become a Master in the Art of Conversation by learning the flow of what works best in getting the social connection going. Just simply being proactive in starting lively conversations makes the other person feel safe, warm and open. The better you are at making someone else feel good and the more you show that you’re focused on their needs makes everyone feel great and you become a highly skilled master.
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Tip #8: Give up feeling like you have to be perfect and just focus on being the real you! Perfection is the lowest human standard there is. It’s true mental self-torture. The more we are able to let this go the more relaxed we become and able to let go of the silly trivial things we focus so much attention to. The truth is that when we obsess and focus on being perfect, we think everyone else around us is focusing on the same things! Wrong! Most people are not tuned in to our little obsessions. We can get to a state of being where we can give up perfection and settle for excellence instead.
Tip #9: The brain loves sameness and when we find out that we have things in common with others it instantly builds a common bond and makes people much more attracted to us. Well known American author and psychotherapist Virginia Satir said, “The strongest human instinct is not survival. It’s staying in the familiar and keeping things the same.” As humans, we will gravitate towards the familiar at any and all costs! We are hard wired to seek out all that feels familiar to us. When people find out that you share the same beliefs, opinions, attitudes, interests, social groups, likes, dislikes it can instantly help someone feel a higher degree of comfort and build rapport in seconds.
Tip #10: Keep a tickler file in your brain of current events, newsworthy topics of conversation and things you find funny about everyday life so you always have something engaging to say. If you’ve ever felt awkward in a social situation where you don’t know a single soul and everyone there seems to appear to know everyone else, you’re not alone. Now that I’ve shared some key ways to start conversations and make a great first impression, I want you to be armed and ready with immediate topics of interest you can talk with anyone about.
Follow these steps and Michelle Van Otten will help you become the most magnetic, radiant, confident version of you possible! Success in any endeavor is always an inside job first and an outside job second. You’ve got to have the inner game in order to reflect a stellar outer game. She can show you how easy it is to achieve your ultimate self!
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Tahoe Signature of Style,
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May 23, 2012
Several posts ago I introduced you to Michelle Van Otten, a respected San Francisco Bay Area author, international public speaker and consultant with expertise in personal peak performance, business image, first impressions and body language. Here is our second in a series of guest posts in which she will give you valuable hints, tips and clues – helping you to become the most magnetic, radiant, confident version of you possible.
This time around it is all about how to speak confidently and deliver a wedding toast others won’t tune out after the first sentence. Whether you are a maid of honor, best man, mother or father of the bride or groom, or just speaking at a non-wedding event, remember these six tips (or pass them on to someone who needs them)!
6 Powerful Tips for Speaking with Magnetic Confidence and Delivering an Unforgettable Speech or Toast
Jerry Seinfeld said it best…”People at a funeral would rather be in the coffin than delivering the eulogy!” Public speaking may be top on the list of all human fears, but what I am about to share with you will help you eliminate any fear and step into your innate ability to deliver a powerful, unforgettable speech. You can do this and with a little practice you can become a master. Here’s what you need to know…
1. Let’s begin with the basic fact that 93% of our communication with others is non-verbal. That’s right! Only 7% of communication is what you actually say. Non-verbal communication is the single most potent form of communication there is and it’s the very first thing you need to know about how you show up to others. Your 93% comes through your mood, emotions, body language, tone of voice, facial expressions and appearance before a single word is spoken. Knowing that you are already going to be filled with positive emotions and looking and feeling your best, you can relax about the what to say part because you know that the majority of what you are conveying is already being said.
2. The most important thing you must remember about speaking with a group is that connection matters more than anything! When you grab the mic, take a deep breath as you make eye contact with each and every person you can. Taking them in and connecting with them through your eyes first. Let them feel your heart and your emotions and you will move them to tears.
3. Convey confidence and presence with your posture and body language. Stand tall and ground yourself through your feet first. Then lift up through your collar bone as if there were strings attached to your collarbone and those strings were lifting you straight up to the sky. Not only will you appear elongated and graceful, you’ll look elegant and self-assured.
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4. Remember to breathe! Pausing to breath helps your oxygenate your brain and body and also serves you in being more powerful with your delivery.
5. Use cue cards and make bullet points rather than painstakingly writing out a long speech you have to read. Remember that as long as what you say comes from your heart and is a true reflection of your authenticity and uniqueness, people will always be moved and inspired by you. You can’t get that wrong!
6. Relax and know that the difference between being a mediocre speaker and a great speaker is simply knowing that it’s all about the energy you give and the experience you create for others rather than focusing on getting the words right or saying it perfectly. Just be your glorious, beautiful self and speak from your heart. You’ll receive a standing ovation every time.
Follow these steps and Michelle Van Otten will help you give the most magnetic, radiant, confident speech possible! Success in any endeavor is always an inside job first and an outside job second. You’ve got to have the inner game in order to reflect a stellar outer game. She is the master at showing you how easy it is to achieve your ultimate self!
Tahoe Signature of Style,
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Apr 10, 2012
Michelle Van Otten
Meet Michelle Van Otten, a respected San Francisco Bay Area author, international public speaker and consultant with expertise in personal peak performance, business image, first impressions and body language. This is the first of a series of guest posts in which she will give you valuable hints, tips and clues – helping you to become the most magnetic, radiant, confident version of you possible!
Beauty Is an Inside Job First
As you imagine your wedding day, one of the most unforgettable and memorable days of your life, how do you see yourself and your day unfold? Are you radiant and exuding authentic beauty that seems to come from within your soul? Are you beaming with confidence and feeling your best? Are you proud of your physical appearance and deriving such joy from how you look and feel? Are you calm and accepting of what is and embracing all the little flaws of life for what they are and laughing them off?
All of these are some of the most important questions to ask yourself so that you can truly set the intention to create yourself as the best you can be on that day (and every day) as well as the intention you want to create for your loved ones and your husband to be.
To help you shine and be seen for your brilliance, I thought I would offer you 8 stellar tips and simple suggestions for how to create magnetic confidence so you can really love living in your skin on your glorious day! You are truly amazing and I want you to be remembered for your vibrancy and seen through the lens of the intentions you set.
1. Set your vision and the ultimate intention for your special day starting NOW! Practice beginning every morning by imbedding that vision of exactly what you want your day to be like, how you see it unfolding, who you want to be. Build your vision with the greatest detail, taking yourself through all of your emotional responses to what you see, feel, hear, taste, smell. Build it so that you deeply imbed this in your mind and as such play this out as your destiny.
2. Your most optimal time of the day to capitalize on your fitness and nutrition efforts is first thing in the morning. Launch your day with a fabulous workout and cardio session that leaves you feeling energized and great about yourself and your body. Nourish yourself and your body first every day. When you master your physiology you master your energy and your level of self-confidence.
3. Manage your stress by creating your support system. Build your team that has your back and takes care of you! Make a list of all the things that suck your energy and time and assign someone to help you with that particular task or item. Remember that you CAN ask for help and by avoiding taking on the world you will shine even more radiantly and beautifully being stress free.
4. Acknowledge yourself for all that you accomplish in each day. Acknowledge your partner too for all that he does and is going through.
5. Develop your attitude of gratitude so you avoid the vortex trap of negativity. At times of stress with tight deadlines, we can get laser focused on all that isn’t going well. So practice noticing and shifting your thoughts 
to what is working and what is amazing in your life.
6. Give up the need or feeling of being perfect. Perfection leads us into so much internal pressure and suffering. Instead embrace the desire to be your best in every moment vs. aiming for perfection. Embrace all that is already whole and fabulous about you.
7. Create a morning power mantra! I love this exercise and it’s one of the strongest ways to build your daily confidence muscle. Start by making a list of all the things you love about yourself, values, strengths and gratitudes. Write it down. Recite this list to yourself every morning in the mirror as you get ready for your day. When you leave the house you will be feeling unstoppable.
8. Remember that connection matters more than anything else. Your ability to develop deeper connections comes from being truly you, authentic in every way. It’s all about the energy you give off from your thoughts and emotions that creates the most profound experience for others that they will always remember you for.
Follow these steps and Michelle Van Otten will help you become the most magnetic, radiant, confident version of you possible! Success in any endeavor is always an inside job first and an outside job second. You’ve got to have the inner game in order to reflect a stellar outer game. She can show you how easy it is to achieve your ultimate self!
Tahoe Signature of Style,
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